A brand new James Bond film and not a single new or original idea. That's the real spectre we need to fear. Have films finally completely run out of narrative gas and where is the Tesla of films? 

Specter, the new James Bond film is terribly unoriginal, lazy and a total mess. What was Sam Mendes thinking? Clearly, nothing at all. Unfairly primed by the brilliant last film Skyfall, the new film is a complete let down. 

I not sure what all to lament? The title song, one of the key attractions for me, is a meaningless disaster poorly performed and filmed. (Can we please leave the Octopus out of future Bond films? Films don't do justice to their intellect).  

The theme and large portions of the plot are almost a complete ripoff of the excellent new Mission Impossible film. The action (perhaps except the customary introductory fight scene) is old: a car chase in the winding streets of Rome, escape from a rigged building, fistfight with an oversized brute - really, that's all you got in 2015?

The villain? Another big  disappointment. Shows even Christoph Waltz needs a decent role to work his magic, and magic is sorely lacking from this enterprise. Think about this - the villain has a cat, he seems psychologically disturbed, he seems like a bit of a hacker but also a bit of a brain surgeon. Oh and of course he shares a past with our hero. And he is very stupid. He doesn't think Bond's gadgets are weapons. He keeps Bond alive to brag and he takes the time to place Instagrams from Bond's past in a building rigged with explosives. For all his power, he seems largely unprotected and destined to do his dirty work himself. Does a rather successful pursuit of world domination teach them nothing?

This is not to say that films don't need to be ridiculous and fantastic - they most certainly do - that's when they are fun - but everything still needs to be narratively coherent and within the limits of the rules that the story has set for itself.

The only thing Spectre does well with is product placement. Sam Mendes, shame on you. Your work here is derivative and rests only on the laurels of self-reference. Nothing wrong with homage, as long as they payor uses their own currency. 

The Bond ladies are the usual mix of glamor and boredom (contrast this to the excellent modern role played by Rebecca Ferguson in Rogue Nation) in need of a complete overhaul for their sexism laced with misanthropy. Monica Bellucci is a complete waste and Léa Seydoux seems strongly interrupted. We are titillated with the idea of a brainy Bond woman only to see her running around behind Bond and getting saved by her man. Damsel in distress? Ugh. 

This is hopefully the last Bond film or at least the last from the spent team of Daniel Craig/Sam Mendes. The Bond franchise is in serious need of something fresh. 

Rolls-Royce, your days are numbered.