Every day should bring this question - what do I want to do today? What is going to make today different from every other day? What is going to make today shine?

I have no answers, of course, but there is a sense of almost constant loss. Not a great colossal loss but a simple, garden variety, daily loss. Life chipping a bit at life everyday. And then the fearsome burden as to what I can do to make it better? I don't know yet and most days I go through the day driven by intertia or driven by what gets thrown at me rather than what my plan for the day is. I react therefore I am. I can debate about whether that is the way to go or whether there should be a plan. I don't quite know.